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[03 Jun 2008|09:19pm]
Soo...happy summer vacation. I am out of school, survived my freshman year. Now I am just living at my house with my two of my roommates Becca and Lizzie. My other roommate Evan went home for the summer but he keeps saying he'll come to visit. Our friends Trace and Chris moved in across the street so we see them and their friends all the time and we all just hang out. I finally got my room more or less finished and my ceiling is purple with clouds.

Other than that not a whole lot is up. I have a new car but it's a stick shift and I still can't exactly drive it... actually I can't even find the keys. Now that I'm a big kid I gotta get more responsible. Oh well I'm working on it. Anyway call me!!
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Ugh. [10 Mar 2008|11:20am]
[ mood | exhausted ]

I have this vauge memory of a time long ago where I slept and ate and relaxed. But lately I have been insanely busy. Had several, papers, tests, etc. and of course social obligations. Slept 6 hours Friday and was incredily distraught at how little this was. If only I had then known that I would not sleep at all Saturday night and only another 5 Sunday I might have appreciated it more. Also, somehow me and Julia ended up having Alex, Noni, Tory, Nate, and Will sleep in our room last night. Getting ready this morning was like trying to navigate my way through an obstacle course. Don't get me wrong I'm not complaining. I wouldn't have it any other way. I will take busy, overworked, sleep deprived fun over well-rested boredom any day. I just feel really weak and out of it. I should probably eat something, that would help.

Cannot wait until Spring Break. Not doing anything particularly excited but hanging around with friends and having no obligations sounds amazing right now. All I have to do is make it through this week and I will have time to eat and sleep again. Now off to finish my musical identity paper due in a couple hours. Oh sleep....

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[26 Feb 2008|12:57pm]
Sitting here, bored, waiting for Jamsie to be finished donating blood. We just both joined and donated some money to Green Peace and we might go volunteer at the Coop afterwards so I am feeling very virtuous. Mostly anyway.

Been performing experiments lately. Smelling things :)
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[30 Jan 2008|10:05pm]
[ mood | complacent ]

So had an awesome winter break. Whatever you could want out of a winter break I got. Well except a dance party. I returned and I was discussing winter break with Julia we realized that we never had a dance party. But other than that totally bitchin winter break!!

Now I am back at school and I have done no homework. I had two assignments due today and I had not done either of them. So whoops. I probably need to start doing that. But I feel good. Feelin pretty good about life right now. Hope you all had good vacations!

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[11 Jan 2008|09:05pm]
So, Christmas break. My mother called the other day to schedule an appointment with me to see a movie. Yes, my mother called to schedule an appointment with me because I am so busy. What am I so bust doing you may ask. Well, the answer is simple enough. Nothing!! I sit around all day and play rock band at James' house.

It's nice though. I went to see Jules the other day whom I love to death and we talked about backpacking across Europe this summer. I spend way too much time with James, seriously way too much time.

Oh and I'm going to Texas on the 16th to visit Julian. Very excited!! Wow that was incredibly boring but it's fun. Hope you're all enjoying/enjoyed winter break.
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[17 Dec 2007|01:47am]
Do you ever feel like you're gonna explode from keeping too much inside?
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[13 Nov 2007|05:35pm]
[ mood | mellow ]

So me and Stephanie and James were all sitting in James' car today and Stephanie was telling James to just drive somewhere and I kept suggesting California. I honestly believe one of these days I am going to suggest California and we are all gonna go and grab a bathing suit, some fresh underwear, and money and drive to California. I really do think it will happen some day and my parents will call and I'll be like oops. I think that says something about the kind of people I hang out with.

Anyway I am going to Ohio this weekend with Ballroom and we are having a huge competition and I am super siked. This is pretty much the only time we get to say in hotels which definetly upgardes it. It'll be a long trip though. Odds are I will sleep the entire way back, I plan on bring a pillow.

Thanksgiving is coming up. Probably going to make an appearance at confrence espeically since I think it's at Sandy Spring. Other than that not much is up.

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[23 Oct 2007|10:28am]
Sitting in German. Bored like mad crazy yo.

Went to the beach, it was well...it just was. Really I think it can fairly be called awesome but a lot went down. Some shit was upsetting me and then I was drunk and something just set me off and I was so angry. And then there was us and them. And now we are all friends again and we can all get along and hang out but I'm worried about this us and them thing, I want it to go away. I don't want to feel excluded from a part of my friend group, I won't feel excluded. And people come up to me and tell me they love me and are sorry and that I am the most important, that I come first, because I have been there for them. But for me it isn't about be angry or about having sex or any of that, it's a moot point. I am emotional and picky. I don't like just anyone, Julia likes almost everyone and I am constantly disagreeing with her and not wanting people around because I am particular about my close friends. If I can not feel totally included and comfortable and understood with my friends then they should not be my closest friends. I have no intention of ditching friends, but I will not surround myself with people who make me feel like the 3 or 5 wheel. And I don't just want pity attention so I won't be annoyed. I want them to want to have me with them but I make things more fun. And I'm not annoyed.

Bleh. I'm not sure I'm making sense. I'm babbling but I need to babble. I love my friends, we have so much fun together. I'm just not sure how close I can let us be, how much I can really open up to them. I need advice and no one seems to have any after I explain how I'm feeling. I guess I'll figure it out. Time will tell. Fucking him fucking everything up.
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[05 Oct 2007|05:28pm]
So yesterday was Kristen's birthday. I forgot. I just read an e-mail from my dad reminding me of it. I feel like I should do something. I don't know what. Something.
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[01 Sep 2007|11:41am]
So I'm a college student now. I survived my first week of classes. I managed to make it to every class on time to. Off to a good start. My gov class is awful, I hate it. It's also the only class I am required to take. Figures.

Julia is of course an awesome roomie. We have lots of fun and switch off with one of us being lame and wanting to go to bed earlier. Yesterday it was me. Other that that? Made some good friends. Gone to some parties. Gotten some free t-shirts. Not too much to report. Hope all the other freshmen are enjoying school as well!!
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[25 Jun 2007|09:23am]
[ mood | müde ]

So I am really, really, really tired. I have PE at 7:30 in the morning and then nearly two hours of free time. If I didin't have Sport there I could come in 2 and a half hours later. Also, want to apologize if the English here is a little off, my brain keeps trying to do things in Deutsch. I will go back and correct it though to fix mistakes.

So my weekend was awesome in it's own unique way. Friday went to Lara's birthday. If you have been e-mailing me then I probably wrote to you and told you the goings on, if not then why exactly aren't you e-mailing me??

Saturday night was Kofi's birthday. Another good time. Finally getting my voice back. Also, written about in e-mail's. However this basically means I was gone all weekend and therefor did not sleep and yesterday I was going to go to bed but then my host mom was like why don't you try and stay up for a while so you won't wakle up in the middle of the night. So now I am so tired that I am ctually writing this with my eyes closed which is an interesting new skill I never knew I had.


July 13th, return date. Can't wait to see you all.

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[29 May 2007|04:14pm]


It's not that I don't love you guys. I do. I will be glad to be home once I am there, I know that. But leaving is going to be so hard. My house, my bedroom, my school, my bike...okay maybe I won't be so sad to leave my bike...anyway, my class, my friends, my family. And the worst part is that I know me and all of my friends are never all going to be together again. We are scattering to every corner of the globe. Switzerland, USA, Ghana, DR, Brazil, New Zealand, Australia, Thailand, Finnland, Italy, etc. I am never going to be with this group again for the rest of my life.

In other news my summer is going to rock. Rough plan:
July 13th:Return Home
July 16th-30: Julian visits
July 30th-August 6th: BYM
August 6th-whenever I start school:hang with my exchange friend visitng from Ghana (assuming she gets her visa)

You know you want to get in on this action so let's hang. Despite appearances I have plenty of free time. Anyway going to go shop for a birthday present for my little sister now. Muah!
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[22 May 2007|11:45am]
[ mood | bored ]

Ahh I am soo bored. I realize I should be working but well...working isn't fun. I have a group presentation on Thursday where we have to talk about the ghetto on Lodz. I am soo not excited. I only have to talk for about 5 minutes but still...wahhh! Why do some of my teachers want me to work. All I really want to do now is go home and go to sleep for several hours and chill out. Unfortunately I do not think that my History and Physics teachers would be alright with my simply not going. Still taking a week off and then coming back is harsh.

Oh yeah!! You guys probably have no idea. I didn't have to go to school last week because I had an AFS work camp. Basically it was just the shit. I had such a good time. I didn't know anyone there which met I got to meet 25 amazing new exchange students. Aren't I lucky. The work was hard but good and the place we were working was completely gorgeous. We just fixed un various hiking trails, actually accomplsihed quite a lot.

It also snowed while we were there which was so cool. We had a snow ball fight and I nailed Nico (friend of mine from Bolivia) right in the ear. He thinks in was Shayne (from California) though. Umm...this weekend Paola (Chile) is having a birthday party and me Lorraine(DR), Nicole (Venezuela) and possibly Leo (Ghana) are coming. So I have a very high exchange student saturation lately.

So I think I will take a break from working for a little while. There are some really cute pink shoes I want to buy and I rented the movie Runaway Jury. Ugh...I hate presentations.

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[28 Apr 2007|05:20pm]
[ mood | contemplative ]

I'm heading back tomorow. It has been great to see all of you that I have had the chance to see. My one day at con was completely amazing.

I'm not okay, I feel like something's missing. But I will be okay. Just give it time and in the meantime if I zone out with a sad look just give me a minute to remember.

I have forgotten bits of Caitlin since her death. She's still in my heart but I can't hear her voice so clearly or see her face with quite such clarity. I don't ever want to forget though. I don't want to forget the wonderful friends who have touched my life, however long.

All my love to you guys.

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[23 Apr 2007|08:35am]
[ mood | devastated ]

I don't know what to say. I feel sort of empty. I just keep crying. I am glad I got to see her when I came home to visit and I am so sorry I was not there for the last months of her life.

I know that there are lots of people who love me and want to help but I do feel somewhat alone. My dad was here and he helped but mostly just to keep me distracted. At least when Caitlin died I had Jenny, she understood how I felt and we went through all that pain. I feel so alone with the loss of Kristen, we've been friends since I was 2 months old. My parents were in the hospital when she was born. We used to have conversations without speaking, just using facial expressions becuase we knew what the other person would be thinking.

She was just 18, she was too young. And she was so happy. She was loving college, I got such funny and upbeat e-mail's from her. I wish I had saved all of them because there will never be another.

All of my love to her family. I can not even imagine their pain. I hope I will be able to come home, I don't know though.

RIP Kristen

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[02 Apr 2007|09:52am]
Howdy Folks. I was just listening to my ipod and it reminded me of BYM and inspired me to post and let you all know what's going on with me. Just another Monday like any other. PE teacher got really mad at me today and started yelling saying that I never do anything. No shit! We are doing backwards rolls while hanging off rings swinging through the air. I tried it once, feared for my life, and am not doing it again! Screw him. I did a survey and no one else would do it either if they weren't getting a grade. So yeah, don't really like PE. On a brighter note though just 3 1/2 more days until vacation!! I am counting the minutes. Yeah it's nice not having to do anything in school and just being able to sit there and write letters and read a book secretly under my desk but it gets dull. I need a vacation. Like a week in Rome maybe? My grandmother called me vesterday to confirm everything and I am all set. Plans for vaca

Thursday- dye easter eggs with exchange studnets, go to friend's birthday dinner and then a club
Friday- sleep a lot, shopping with Lorraine
Saturday+Sunday- dying eggs, egg hunt and other easter stuff with family
Monday- Grandmother's 80th birthday party
Tuesday+Wednesday+Thursday- relax, watch rented movies, party, hang out with friends and family, etc.
Friday- Roma!!!

Hardly any time at all till I go. Sorry but mostly the only thing running through my brain is how many seconds I have till the vacation. Happy late April Fools Day and enjoy Spring Break.
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[21 Mar 2007|03:50pm]
So I am bored again. It actually snowed today as I was leaving for school and stuck so I took some pictures of my house in the snow. Very pretty. Kind of ironic though because today is the first day of Spring.

In other news I BOOKED MY FLIGHT TO ROME IN APRIL. I am soo excited to go and I just really hope AFS lets me but I don't see any reason they wouldn't. Also, as a direct result of my boredom I read through my old xanga (I can't believe I remembered the password and username). I don't remember hardly any of the stuff I was talking about. Caitlin apparently ripped my wall and me and Kristen went on some sort of quest??? It was fun anyway though.

Oh yeah and Ich hasse Sport. Es ist doof. Wir machen jetzt ruckwards rollen. Wie so sollte ich das lernen? Ja, ich will nur einfach ein bisschen auf Deutsch screiben. Ich kann viel besser sprechen als screiben aber es ist trotzdem lustig. Deutsch ist geil!!

hab dich lieb,
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[16 Mar 2007|03:09pm]
So I finally figured out my camera and put all of my pictures on my computer and as soon as I buy some blank discs I find some outlet to let you all look at my family, friends, town, and of course me. Sorry I am so technology infriendly and this has taken me so long...like over 6 months. I am really really technology infriendly.

Other than that? Nothing all that new with me actually. Getting another piercing in my ear sometimes soon and going to check on Die Grune Fae tonight (I don't actually have any idea how you spell in but I think that's more or less right, it's a bar). Sunday I have my dance recital which I am siked for. Also, working out all the details on Rome trip in about 4 weeks and starting plans on a trip to Amsterdam.

Right now I am going to take the train down to Bern and do some shopping. I am really awful about attending class here, right now I am in German theoretically. But I don't understand a large portion of them, don't get grades, don't write tests, and can offically right my own excused notes. My motivation is very limited. Senoritis in Switzerland. Except if I decide to skip here I can just walk out and hop on a train to anywhere. Back home all I could do was walk to Giant.
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[05 Mar 2007|09:00am]
So I completely forgot about it but last Thursday was me and Switzerland's 6 month anniversary. I thought that deserved an update.

So what is going on in my life? Got myself sick. Went out partying in Basel but because I live in the middle of nowhere it meant that I had to wait for the first train in the morning to go home (5 am) and the party was outside in the streets. What does this mean? I was outside in the cold from 8pm to 5 am and even rained a little. As a result I now feel like shit, it's my own fault though. Other that than?? Oh!! New exchange students. The new AFS kids got here and on Thursday I am going out to meet them, I love new exchange students. We already got the new Rotary kids and they are really nice. My nose piercing is not looking so happy, it has a little...never mind. You really don't want to know, just trust me that is seems vaugely unhappy.

I said yes to University of Maryland College Park and the scholars program. So the college questions is answered. I mean 65 thousand is a lot of money to turn down but with since I get in state tuition at UMCP it is only slightly more expensive. Where are other people going?? Let me know.

ganz liebe gruss,
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[19 Feb 2007|08:48am]
Well so I am not 18 and it feely more or less completely the same. No, I actually feel more tired as an 18 year-old. Went out to Fastnacht last night which was amazing and kind of insane. It's their equivalent of Carnival and where I live they get really into it which is cool. Ahh, okay writitng in English is not working I keep trying to type things in German. Anyway everyone gets really dressed up, like very over the top. I went as a princess but I was much less dressed up then a lot of people. So everyone just stands around in the streeets of the town and drinks and dances and there are sooo many different singing groups and giant bands walking around. Each one has a different theme and they espeically go all out. Then you always end up with large mobs of people surrouding each band and then in between the different bands less people and various food and drink stands. Anyway I loved it but I only slept about 4 hours...maybe 4 hours so I am exhausted, I wish my school vacation wasn't over.
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